Get 'right now relief' in any stressful situation with your kids.
The Kid Code positive parenting book helps parents solve kids’ problems—because kids will display every behavior we wish they wouldn’t. The Kid Code book is a wellbeing manual that offers parents 100 simple strategies for ‘right now relief’ in an upset with their kids—because parents deserve a peaceful parenting experience and kids deserve a peaceful parent.
The book is a ‘wise meets practical’ mix of plain-English self-inquiry methods, demystified eastern wisdom teachings, lessons from kids themselves, and uncommonly powerful ponderings that will take parents from chaos to calmness when they need it most.
The two main problems parents struggle with are having very little time and finding strategies that
truly
work—and work fast.
The Kid Code positive parenting strategies work in thirty seconds, once you know how to use them, and that only takes a few minutes! The strategies take anger and confusion out of parenting and bring us back to sanity and love as a natural response when troubles surface.
Brenda Miller is a smart, masterful writer with a wealth of experience teaching worldwide audiences how to live a conflict-free life.
Gretchen Hansen, The US Review of Books
The Wishing Shelf Book Awards Finalist 2022!
The Tantrum Tamer helps parents stay calm during a child’s explosion. You can’t put a lid on lava, so while a child is having a tantrum, to avoid being drawn into the upset and inciting your own negative reaction, several effective strategies are offered to help parents stay calm and centered. Parents will also learn ideas like including your kids in storytelling when you’re at the milk cooler to help keep them positively engaged and less likely to tantrum!
Keeping kids sweet(er) in the teenage years! If kids go off the rails, the strategies will help parents more calmly keep on the rails!
Dissolving Anger is essential for a happy life—anger is addictive, poisons our bodies, and fractures relationships. Those are good reasons to give it up.
Blessing Mistakes teaches parents how to give themselves and others grace, not grief when a mistake is made. Use it when you make a parenting mistake—say and feel the truth of this statement: “I matter more than the mistake.” And then make the mistake right by apologizing or whatever is appropriate. When someone else in the house makes a mistake parents can use this strategy to dissolve the stress around mistake-making. Say and feel the truth of this statement as you say it to the person who made the mistake, “You matter more than your mistake.” Then teach them to make it right. Read the book Blessing Mistakes to become an expert at reducing stress that involves mistakes or negative states!
To stop kids when they are fighting, use I am That, The Blessing Boomerang and/or The Turnaround. The negativity and stress dissolves quickly and return them to their peaceful nature!
Attitude or Gratitude teaches us that we want to feel as good when we’re done something fun as we did when we started the activity, and is useful for ending screen time, leaving a birthday party or the playground, etc.
Won’t Do Must-Do’s is helpful when kids won’t co-operate, help with chores, get their boots on so you can all get out the door on time, do homework, and more.
Once you experience relief from using the positive parenting strategies, you can teach them to your kids (7 years & older). If your children are younger than 7, you can use the strategies on yourself to keep calm when the little ones aren’t! Parents give their kids a rare gift when they teach them these strategies because they’ll be able to stay in—or come back to their naturally inclusive, non-judgmental, insightful nature when challenges arise.
The Kid Code Teachers offer further support through live and recorded online classes.
It’s a peaceful parenting movement that you can experience in your own home.
The Kid Code book is the parenting manual that didn't come with your kids - with a bonus - it helps you get your playfulness back.
The positive parenting strategies in the Kid Code book takes the anger and confusion out of parenting and brings us back to sanity and love as a natural response - no pretending, and no (or less) hollering. It works with toddlers/tweens/teens/twenties and beyond!
Many parents were never taught what to do with their own overwhelming upsets and hair-raising behaviours, never mind what to do with their children's. With this book, you can learn how to dissolve upsetting feelings instantly, and that's a miracle!
Learn: Taming Temper Tantrums, BullyProof Yourself & Your Kids, Lying, Fear & The Bogeyman, Swapping Attitude for Gratitude, Blessing Mistakes, and much more!
PARENTS
With this parenting 'how-to' book always at your fingertips (along with it's simple 30 second strategies). YOU have the solution to any kid-induced upset.
TEACHERS
If I'd written this for teachers, it would be the same. Having great strategies when chaos in a classroom erupts makes sure your energy and patience don't get zapped!
COACHES
These strategies help you bring out the best in every child, keep them focused, and keep you loving what you do.
EXTENDED FAMILY
Help parents help their children by using the same consistent strategies with the extra benefit of staying calm while enjoying you family's kids.
Imagine if it were possible to reduce the stress in your house by half with a couple of parenting strategies that are quick and easy to implement? Imagine if you could do it in 30 seconds. Imagine discovering that when stress can't intrude, peace is your auto-pilot. Imagine all of that IS a reality!
Kids evoke emotions we didn't know we had. The love they bring out in us is so big, we can hardly express it, and then - there are the emotions that are so upsetting, we can't help but express them, loudly and usually with a bit of bite. Kids are going to push every button we have - as though they installed them. GET HELP, NOW!
When we do the work that's in this positive parenting book, we dissolve the things that block our natural joy. Belly laughing, compassion, playfulness - they are all natural to us - that's because they are our essential nature. All negative states are learned and can be unlearned. Your belly laugh is waiting!
They are counting on us to blossom them. We've got this!
Kids want to grow up staying how they started out: belly-laughing, innocent, curious, genuine, and inclusive.
As we uncover natural joy in ourselves, we can teach our kids ways to feel lit up. We do this by seeing what stands in the way of that.
Making sure you get what you need, ensures you give what you can.
Challenges don't stop, so learning the cause of them and cure for them empowers us.
They should come out of the womb hollering, "We're gonna' push all your buttons! Get help now!!"
We were never taught what to do with our own hair-raising emotional upsets, never mind what to do with our children's.
How did we go from us telling them bedtime stories to them telling us tall tales?
This book is a simple kind of parenting 'school' where you get immediate results from your work, and there are no tests (other than the ones your kids put you through).
Adulthood is for growing ourselves up into the wise, belly-laughing human beings we are. These strategies are 'how-to'.
Nobody is going to do it for us, so let's get good at it, and set ourselves free - before history repeats itself.
Anyone who knows a child; anyone who wants to be a loving steward to all children that come across their path.
Read, contemplate and then try the strategies. Pick the ones that make you feel really good inside and use them every day!
We can't parent differently until we know something different to do.
So many things. Learning how to do it peacefully is number one!
We've sent people into outer space, and now it's time to send them into inner space where there is a connection with pure intelligence that is so valuable, you'll never want to leave it once you find it.
Expression is great, just not when we're upset. Being upset means it's time to go inside and handle it where it started so we can express in a way that works for us.
Kids operate just fine without beliefs. We can too. Our inner wisdom always knows what to say and do that serves everyone.
The truth needs to be heard, and blaming isn't it. It has never resolved one thing and never will. It defers and cements pain and then it rises again and again in us - until we see the cause. Seeing is the cure.
It's not normal to feel crazy, it's crazy to feel crazy.
Continuing to pursue what doesn't exist makes no sense.
Our hearts know punishment isn't right, but we learned it, so it must be right, right?
A correction has no negatively charged energy and comes from a place of wanting true wellbeing for the child.
Our current focus isn't on wholeness, it's on judging, wanting, getting, out-doing...
Because challenges don't stop, one of the most important things we can do is learn how to see the lesson and let it go.
Our true nature is what genuinely feels natural. Belly-laughing, compassion and all other states that feel so natural to us ARE our true nature. The key is how to keep that as our operating system.
Aha's change our destiny. When we have one, we can no longer operate without that wisdom.
We learned how to be a mess, and we can unlearn it.
Operated by beliefs we learned in childhood that don't work or operated by what comes naturally to us.
All negative states are ego-based. All natural states are not.
Whenever you feel an upset.
Do it consciously to attract a more conscious being (but don't worry if it's too late for that, we've got the tools to make us all conscious!).
Once you experience relief, teach the strategies to your child if they are over 7 years old.
"She effectively communicates this in a series of “30 Second Parenting Strategies,” which apply compassion-based techniques to real-world scenarios, such as coping with tantrums, picky eaters, teenage rebelliousness, and excessive screen time. Although Miller tackles a variety of topics, readers may find that the most crucial aspect of the book is her focus on challenging and reversing negative beliefs, which, she says, limit adults’ and children’s potential. To that end, she aptly and logically points out that such beliefs are often internalized perspectives of others and don’t necessarily convey the truth of a given situation. This knowledge may well empower readers to break free from detrimental cycles, such as harmful perfectionism, while building constructive communication habits. A helpful and practical book about nurturing helpful beliefs in one’s children and oneself."
RECOMMENDED by KIRKUS
"My kid turned out just like me. Well played karma. Well played.'
Miller selects principles from renowned classic and contemporary masters. She then packages them as short, digestible parenting contemplations. Masters from a wide variety of disciplines, including philosophy, biology, and psychology, are represented. These include writers such as Eckhart Tolle, Sadhguru, Wayne Dryer, and Dr. Shefali Tsabary. The exercises are formatted with a title and a quote or key point. The author then elaborates with humor and grace."
Gretchen Hansen
"I love your book. Your book is phenomenal. Your work is phenomenal. This is a book that has so many useful techniques, strategies, understandings, principles, it should be given to every mother before they walk out of a hospital. People need what you have. Kids are suffering. Parents are suffering. There is no owner’s manual. This is kind of an owners-manual from God. It’s beautiful. This is one of the best parenting books I’ve ever read. Get this out there."
Jack Canfield, Bestselling Author
Chicken Soup for the Soul Series
"The super-simple and quick strategies in The Kid Code took the anger out of parenting for me. My whole parenting life changed. When I brought out the 'undertaker voice', sent them to their room, or just hollered at them, I wondered if I was ruining them. This back-up support gives me time to think "Can I do this another way?".
Chris Veltheim, BBus (I)
"Over the years Brenda’s compassion and wisdom have guided me through tough emotions and confusion - to calmness and clarity. This work has helped me feel less pain and more relief in my body. My daughter is grateful that I use these parenting strategies. They have provided a foundation that brings an ease to our communication and our relationship."
Louise Sevigny
"These techniques have already helped me to parent in a way that feels like I'm helping my children grow, and not dictating to them or endlessly arguing. The Kid Code offered me almost exactly what I was searching for. It provided me with a different outlook; ways that felt so much more effective & natural to me."
Janna Glasman, CBP, BAT, PCP
"Kid Code was a very eye-opening parenting experience. The tools are very useful and bring all kinds of awareness. This course will leave you feeling much more connected to your children, as well as forgiving, understanding, and easier on yourself as a parent."
Kristen Pierce, MindScape Instructor, AdvCBP.
"Brenda's KID CODE is an incredible book, for assisting parents and children alike to experience challenges in an awakened, conscious state. Her compassion and non-judgmental personality and coaching style makes KID CODE a nurturing, rewarding, and impactful course!"
Julie Veresh, CBP Owner, Innate Dynamics
Brenda taught conscious conflict resolution in six countries and is now immersed, every day, in helping others find relief from upsets so they can feel less stress and more joy. Her observation that children teach us what they want us to teach them made kids into her teachers. Because of that, she set out to reclaim her playfulness, belly-laugh and all the other attributes a child shows us that come naturally to a human being.
She's passionately studied the work of Byron Katie, Eckhart Tolle, Guy Finley, Mooji, Sadhguru, and many others. She says that their wisdom, when used on a daily basis becomes our own proof that joy is our natural state.
She's married with three kids who gave them six granddaughters, which means that family get-togethers are loud and entertaining! While she has an Associate Degree in Holistic Nutrition and Diplomas in Business and Writing, her heart is set on helping others (very quickly) find their own inner wisdom, beautiful nature, and....belly-laugh!
Available for purchase at the following retailers
This insightful how-to book helps solve kids’ problems—because kids will display every behavior we wish they wouldn’t. The Kid Code is a wellbeing manual that offers parents 100 simple strategies for ‘right now relief’ in an upset with their kids—because parents deserve a peaceful parenting experience and kids deserve a peaceful parent.
The book is a ‘wise meets practical’ mix of plain-English self-inquiry methods, demystified eastern wisdom teachings, lessons from kids themselves, and uncommonly powerful ponderings that will take parents from chaos to calmness when they need it most.
The two main problems parents struggle with are having very little time and finding strategies that
truly
work—and work fast.
The Kid Code strategies work in thirty seconds, once you know how to use them, and that only takes a few minutes! The strategies take anger and confusion out of parenting and bring us back to sanity and love as a natural response when troubles surface.
The strategies in The Kid Code took the anger out of parenting for me. They’re super simple, and quick. I’m not saying this lightly - my whole parenting life changed. I now have this back-up support (The Kid Code) which gives me time in the moment to think – “Can I do this another way?” I find I catch myself just as I’m ready to bring out the ‘undertaker voice’, count to 3, order them to get to their room, or just yell at them because that seemed to work – but I had to ask myself, “Am I ruining my kids?” I knew I needed another way to parent and I found it in what I call the ‘modern’ techniques Brenda shared with me.
Chris Veltheim, Founder, Course Rebel
As a new parent, I have read many books and searched many sites on the internet looking for guidance and answers. The parenting principles presented by this course [The Kid Code] is really all I ever need and is beautiful in its simplicity.
Karlette Tunaley, Mom and Yoga Teacher
Brenda’s compassion and non-judgmental personality and coaching style makes KID CODE a nurturing, rewarding, and impactful course.
Julie Veresh, CBP- Innate Dynamics
Brenda is an incredible teacher, and, has new ways of helping you see life and the challenges you can face when parenting - in ways that help you find relief.
Janna Glasman
As I turn the page, words of wisdom and love leap out at me … page … after page … after page … after page!
I feel so much gratitude for this magnificent compendium of knowledge and parenting wisdom, Brenda. Thank you.
Philip Be’er
Author of Learning to Love
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